< It

It

“Do you have to make it your whole personality?”

 

I mean,

Is it that immense discomfort you feel

when you look in the mirror?

Examining yourself under scrutiny

and looking in every angle to try and

find the one where the face looks

the most like the one

you can say is yours?

 

Is it the way your stomach drops

at empty acceptance?

No boys allowed

(besides you).

I don’t date guys

(but you’re different).

Hanging with the gals

(and you).

Is it knowing

that they see you

but refuse to look at you?

 

Is it when you scroll on social media

and go to the bookstore

and the library

and watch the tv

and all they talk about is

the seduction of

our ‘daughters’

by this disease of the mind?

 

Is it feeling unwanted?

My existence seen as a trend,

a pop song, a punchline?

 

Is it unwanted?

 

Is it the fact that I keep going regardless?

Is it that I am allowed to want myself?

 

If so, then I think I will keep making it my whole thing, thanks.